


What Would You Do For Milk Tea?

by Gnomeskillet



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 03:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gnomeskillet/pseuds/Gnomeskillet
Summary: Hana asks a burning question.





	What Would You Do For Milk Tea?

“Hey Jamie, what would you do for a milk tea with boba?” Hana asked, sitting on the arm of the couch where Jamison was fiddling with a Rubik’s cube, positioning herself so that the two of them were visible on the screen of her camera.

He looked up at her, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Are you streaming this? Is this like one’a them ‘what would you do for a Klondike bar?’ type questions?”

“Yes, and yes!” she chirped, flashing a V sign and a wink at the camera before turning back to him. “So, what’s your answer, Jamie? The stream wants to know, just how far would you go for milk tea?”

“Bloody oath, I dunno,” Jamison huffed, scowling moodily at his Rubik’s cube. What kind of hypothetical horseshit was this? “Punch a baby, I guess? Am I actually getting milk tea outta this? Coz if I’m not and you’re just dangling hypothetical milk tea in front of my face, then you might as well fuck right off.”

Instead of answering the question, Hana smirked and leaned in closer. “Would you kiss a robot?”

Jamison stared blankly at her for a moment, then put the Rubik’s cube down and turned to face her fully. “Am I gonna get a milk tea out of this or not?”

“You have to answer the question first.”

“Fuck.” For a moment or two, Jamison swore colorfully under his breath, then he inhaled, thought over the question, and exhaled explosively. “Yeah, fuck, fine, I’d kiss a robot for milk tea.”

“Well, you’re in luck!” Hana crowed, swinging her arm around to the entrance of the room as Zenyatta floated in, a milk tea with boba in hand. “We have both a milk tea and a robot for you to kiss!”

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I knew it, as soon as you said it, I knew this was going to happen!” Throwing the Rubik’s cube angrily onto the couch, Jamison snarled and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a petulant child. “I hate you! I hate you both so much!”

After a second or two of sulking, Jamison took a deep breath and got up, stomping over to Zenyatta. He swore to himself a second more, then cupped Zenyatta’s cheek in his hand, turning his face towards himself.

“I’m sorry,” Zenyatta said, tilting his head and shrugging his shoulders sheepishly. “You know how she gets when an idea pops into her head.”

“Yeah, right. Like you’re not enjoying this,” Jamison muttered back, moving in to kiss Zenyatta’s cheek, but Hana stopped him.

“It has to be on the lips!” she insisted, keeping the lens of her camera trained on the pair of them.

“He doesn’t even have lips!”

“You know what I mean!”

“Uuuuugh.” Jamison’s whole body slumped as he groaned in frustration, his eyes threatening to roll back into his head. “FINE. Have it your way!”

Then Jamison grabbed Zenyatta’s head and pulled him close, roughly mashing his lips against the golden ridge of Zenyatta’s faceplate. Zenyatta let out a little “mmph!” of surprise, his legs dropping from the lotus position, but then the tension dropped from his shoulders and he leaned into the kiss with a sigh. After about ten seconds, Jamison pushed Zenyatta away, but not without snatching up the milk tea.

“I hope you’re all happy,” Jamison snapped, sticking out his tongue and flipping the bird at Hana before throwing himself back on the couch, curling up into a ball of disgruntled Rat.

“Oh, thrilled,” Hana replied absently, patting his shoulder and watching the donations counter on her screen skyrocket. Suffering, humiliation, and kissing always got her viewers to crack open their wallets. “How about you, Zen? Are you doing okay over there?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’m fine,” Zenyatta murmured, glowing faintly gold as he brushed his fingers over his faceplate. “I really should upgrade to something with lips, don’t you think?”


End file.
